Recently I've been giving advice to some friends on relationships, friendship, and overall life. What I've found is that everyone's problem is the same. They're molding themselves into what other people want them to be. Hiding their true colors and creating little characters for the people around them to enjoy.Sounds weird right?? But A LOT of people do it. Just think do you have a certain person/grp of ppl who classify you as funny and every time you get around them they expect you to tell a joke or entertain them? And when you're not in the mood, they immediately ask "Whats wrong?". Thats because you molded yourself into a one dimensional character for those people. Yes, your silly at times but you do also have many other sides to you. And continuously hiding your other emotions hinders you from being yourself around them.
Another example....is there a guy/girl in your life that you started talking to and when you get around them your playful, silly, carefree and that the basis of your relationship? But once you bring up a serious topic or ask serious question you get the twitter face O_o.
Or do you play the tough role, the "I dont need anyone but myself" role. So everyone you met never tries to get close or tries to take care of you because "You're so tough", as you say.
Guys do it too. They force themselves to go out, get in girls, and drink. When all they really want is that someone special they can chill at home with because they're tried of that life.
You're molding yourself into characters that other people can relate to and have fun with and yes this is effective but has no longevity. Most people would call this "playing roles". And playing a role can only last so long.
One of my friends came to me about being in a loveless relationship, she gets no excitement from it, shes unhappy but stay in it because its comfortable and she doesnt want to leave and let him down.
So she continues to play this role as the loving & happy girlfriend when she really wants to be single and enjoying her life as is. She satisfy him with this "character" she created but its not the real her.
Same with friendships. I know we all have one of those "friends" that we're in constant competition with. You guys are supposedly "cool" but you dont want to tell her ALL you're business because you know she'll judge you, or write it down in her mental notebook so she can later compare how much better her life is.
So you keep your real problems to yourself, just so you can LOOK like your life's all together. Once again pretending and hiding who you are in order to fit in to other peoples perceptions of you.
When we think of "playing roles" we think of someone lying or trying to fit in we don't ever imagine ourselves....but we ALL do it! In relationships,friendships, sex lives. and even with our parents.
Have you ever sat and thought who am I? What am I doing? And where do I wanna end up? What do I want? What do I like?.....If not you should.
Finding out the answers to all these question will help you find YOU! That feeling of emptiness when your alone, that dissatisfaction with the ppl & things in your life, that urge to just change scenery all comes from not being content with YOU.
Just think about how much you think about what ppl think of you lol. Tweets, FB pictures, the clothes you wear,your phone, the car you drive, "the hoes you pull, are all acts to impress others.
You cannot be compliant all your life, or adapt to yourself to the the needs of others because in all this adaption you'll lose the original beauty that is you.
Stop doing things to please others. Take care of what you want to do, what you have to do & what God asks of you and you'll find happiness in just being & doing YOU.
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